A metaphor for my life
would be one of those guns
that shoots out a flag
with the word 'bang' on it
I want to give the impression
that I'm going to kill you
but never actually doing it
and then I laugh about it after
while the other person feels
bad a little bit
about not dying
A metaphor for my life
(In no order)
JAPANESE RED LEAF MAPLE
BY LEIF HAVEN
I had the pleasure of meeting Leif at a reading here in Portland with Steve Roggenbuck. He was a really nice guy and I enjoyed his writing a lot. He stood out to me as someone connected to 'alt lit' who didn't have the same kind of copied Tao Lin style that many people replicate. This ebook is comprised of quite a few poems of flarf poetry assembled from Portland Craigslist ads. Some are really funny, some are more introspective and interesting. Very nicely done.
I AM READY TO DIE A VIOLENT DEATH
BY HEIKO JULIEN
This ebook is almost (or already is) at cult following status in alt lit, whatever that means pertaining to the community. It even has it's own audio book now. This was the first Heiko Julien ebook I read. I've also read Am I Cool, which was great, but I enjoyed this one more. Reading this made me feel like I was being told that 'life is okay, just be cool'. The ending was like the ending of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, I can't really explain it, you just have to read it. Heiko sets himself apart from other writers. You know it's him when you read it.
I WANT TO DIE PEACEFULLY IN MY SLEEP LIKE THAT OLD LADY FROM TITANIC BUT I WANT CELINE DION TO SING MY HEART WILL GO ON AFTER I DIE AND NOT HAVE SOME CHICK JUST HUM IT LIKE IN THE MOVIE OR WHATEVER BECAUSE MY LIFE IS ALREADY A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT
BY WALTER MACKEY
Walter Mackey was the first person to introduce to the alt lit community. I had read all of the Tao Lin books and that was about it, at the time. He commented on something I posted on Tumblr and I thought his blog title was funny, so I looked through his blog and found that he also liked Tao Lin, enough to have a tattoo of his art on his arm. I am greatly in debt to Walter, especially for being the first person to publish my stuff on Screaming Seahorse. He put out this ebook around the time we became URL friends so you could say it was the first 'non Tao' alt lit that I ever read. I enjoyed the basic-cable pop culture references, the obscure ways he'd want to go out, the brevity of the poems, and the book's overall simplicity.
DOWNLOAD HELVETICA FOR FREE.COM
BY STEVE ROGGENBUCK
Steve needs no introduction. A fantastic collection of flarf poetry, blown up in Helvetica. You may be wondering why I'm choosing this over Crunk Juice. While I did love Crunk Juice, I guess this one just has more of a nostalgia factor for me. Really, the two are hard to compare. If you don't know about his ebook, Steve is known for being a fine 'Google-bomber' (creating keywords to steal traffic from what people are actually trying to find to give them something else, such as with 'Poetry by Emily Dickinson'). The title diverts people looking to download the font and leads them to a collection of flarf poetry he put together from his past IM conversation logs. Everything about the book is very pleasing and friendly. Over 100 poems including the 'b-sides'.
LESS OF EVERYTHING
BY DAVE SHAW
I first experienced Dave Shaw through his poetry he glued to various fruits that was in the first Screaming Seahorse issue I was in. This was the first 'non-fruit' Dave Shaw I had read, and I loved it. I actually put off reading this for a while because I hate the cover, but the content is much better. The writing is very authentic and very fluid. It's alt lit, but it's still different. Names are changed to symbolic words relating to his life. I like that he actually talks about Pop Serial and a few other alluded alt lit references. I feel like this ebook could be a short film.
COME TO MY OCEAN
BY KELSEA BASYE (AKA MOON TEMPLE)
Moon Temple is a newer writer that I am excited to see more from. I feel like I can relate to her 'brand'. I can sympathize with working at Subway. This is her first ebook and I felt like 'yeah, I get this'. The whole time I felt like I was sinking while drowning, kind of struggling for the top at times, but eventually accepting it and letting myself fall. I do not mean this in a bad way, I mean it in the sense that she expressed herself in a fashion that made others understand what she was trying to express. It very much felt like an ocean.
PINKY PROMISE ME THIS
BY ANA CARRETE
I was very torn between this and Internet Girls. They're really about an even 50/50, but I decided to include this one because I haven't seen it on any blogs or anything, and it's a little older so people might have forgotten about it. Ana Carrete's style is very refreshing. It's brisk, playful, and kind of flirtatious. Her ebooks are fun. She blows up the fonts, plays with the colors, and she even puts a Youtube link in this one. It feels like a conversation, but not with someone you don't know, someone you're friends with.
I hope this interested some people enough to read these PDFs. Please download them and check them out. I would not have written this if I didn't think they were worthwhile.
'no' is in .pdf form.
There is only one copy of my ebook.
The file is encrypted, so you need to know (or figure out) the password to view it.
The only way the ebook is spread around is if
the person who had the ebook last sends it to you
via email, facebook message, or whatever.
The only rule is that you delete your copy of the file
after you send it to someone else.
This is so that there is always only one copy of the ebook at any time.
It's best if you don't discuss the contents of the ebook,
so you don't spoil it for other people who want to read it.
I know that some people might break these rules,
but I trust the online lit community enough.
Mostly, just have fun and connect with people.
a boy who's creativity is too big for the world he lives in
he's just so misunderstood
but keegan isn't letting this small world faze him
he's not dwelling on it
which is why he as officially moved to mars
that's where he is right now
gazing at bright shining stars
keegan crawford was not made for this world
he finds the air stale
he finds the people insufferable
he feels stifled by the way he's supposed to create his art
so one day
keegan said 'fuck it, i'm moving to mars'
'he built a starship with his bare hands
this took him about 2 days
he said goodbye to his friends and family
his friends and family were bummed that keegan was leaving but understood that earth was no match for him
he moved his starship to a field and blasted off into space
it took him 2.5 seconds to get to mars
upon landing, he said 'goodbye earth. you fucking disgrace'
so now keegan is on mars
he can breathe on mars because that's just the way he's built
he does not miss earth. it is our loss
he can thrive on mars because he's more evolved than us
he enjoys it there
he paid the cost to be the boss
once a boy who tried to fall in line with the ignorant ways of earthlings
now a creative force on mars where he can be artistic without having to answer to any establishment
local martians have welcomed him with open arms
they devour his art ravenously
they gasp at his stories of how gay marriage is not fully legal and how kim kardashian is a celebrity
they chant his name when they see him on the streets
mars is love and keegan enjoys his time there
maybe he'll come back to earth and, once again, bless us with his innovative artistry
fat chance earthlings
http://peterbd.tumblr.com for collection of stories
It's hard to write if I'm not sad
I can write anything
and everyone went home,
got into their beds,
kissed each other's wrists,
and the breeze through the open window
felt cool on the invisible markings
left by each others lips
The Parade continued the next day through the rain
and the markings washed off the wrists
which poured down into a sewer
where a family of rats were eating the carcass of a dead bird,
wet with kisses